Having a general chat in group this week raised some very interesting points about food that I had been noticing in myself recently. When you restrict yourself from having what you would call ‘normal’ food, you feel deprived. Well, I certainly do. I end up craving rubbishy foods like takeaways, but the funny thing is, if I succumb to my inner demons and let myself order a carb-fuelled Chinese for dinner (because I’ve been sooooooo good lately! Hah!), I expect this meal to taste like the most amazing food in the world. Well it’s pretty much the complete opposite once I’ve eaten it, and that’s when I feel really disappointed.
Stopping yourself having something is hard because you instantly feel a desperation for it, pushing it further and further onto a pedestal, but the reality is that it’s really not that nice, and you’ve fallen off the wagon for something that didn’t even satisfy you.
I felt incredibly hungry at the weekend, and having not been in the best mood most of the evening, I decided in my huff that I wanted something yummy for dinner, something that would bring me pure joy by eating it. Any rational thinker knows that there is no such thing (well, maybe chocolate?) but when you are not in a rational mindset, any banned food is the ultimate luxury. Well I was so disappointed with my tasteless, grotty old saveloy and chips that I sulked in my bedroom for the rest of the night, wishing I could turn back the clock and talk myself out of it.
Tonight I remembered this feeling when my mind starting wandering towards dinner, and thankfully I recognised the crooked thoughts and managed to set them straight. I did not want to spoil the progress I have made so far in my weight loss journey for some tasteless muck that is not good for me. So, with a spring in my step and my determined head on, I popped into M&S after work and grabbed myself some delicious salad bits, as well as a pack of my favourite salmon (delish!) and went home to create a masterpiece!
I don’t think any form of takeaway food could have tasted as gorgeous as that salad did, drizzled with fat free vinaigrette and topped with a sprinkle of cheddar; it was heavenly. It’s all about making the right decisions, and I’ve just got to try and make those decisions in the future and avoid those crooked thoughts.