It’s my 29th birthday, and although most people really enjoy their birthdays, unfortunately I don’t.
My fiancé thinks I’m mad for feeling so miserable on my birthdays, but I really cannot help it; getting older panics me for some reason, and I really don’t like that feeling. So this birthday I spend most of the day at home, watching TV and feeling sorry for myself.
No matter how many messages, calls and beautiful gifts and flowers I got from family and friends (like the gorgeous button bracelet my lovely friend made me!), I still felt miserable, and had to keep resisting heading into the kitchen and eating rubbish in a bid to dull down the feeling.
Luckily when my fiancé came home from work, he convinced me to go out for something to eat at my friend’s restaurant along with my in-laws, and I did have a really nice evening.
I didn’t stick with my usual, health conscious dinner, but I didn’t stray too far away, wanting to have a little treat but not wanting to ruin it completely and make myself feel worse, but it’s so much easier now that I’m able to recognise when my moods affect my diet.