Urgh, urgh and urgh!! That is the best description I can give for the past few days.
Not only have I been psychotically hormonal and way past the point of being rational, I've also had a rotten cough and cold! Rubbish, rubbish, rubbish!
Usually if I'm not feeling myself, I'm able to rationalize and come to some sort of solution or compromise, but this time I had no chance, my inner demon was well in control! So, not only did I wallow in self-pity for being ill, I also gave myself permission to eat whatever I wanted and in whatever quantity I felt appropriate.
I tried to fight it, and after a blubbering fit, I came to the conclusion that trying to fight yourself when you feel this way is just stupid, you've just got to except it and be fully prepared for the consequences. I wasn't over the moon that I was eating rubbish and feeling so rough, but I think if I'd added the extra pressure of fighting myself, things could have been a whole lot worse.
I seemed to get through it pretty well, and now I'm out the other end, I'm fully prepared to have gained weight, but I'm not going to kick myself for it.
Sometimes things are just out of your control (even your own body and mind!), so its more how you deal with the after effects instead of trying to stop it from happening in the first place. I now feel almost human again, and with this, my focus is back on track and ready to go. No beating myself up, no feeling miserable for gaining weight, just accepting the facts and moving forward with my goals in sight. Bring it on!